Work can be full of different personalities that will always look like intruders in your workspace. From the know-it-all masters, competitors, and hard micromanagers to simple latecomers; your work can get more difficult to handle.
Your steps in handling such colleagues may make you end up either in trouble or wasting most of your precious work time. However, worry not. This article articulates the better option for you. You do not have to always fight to make your workmates at bare.
Read on for humorous, sarcastic, irony-filled, and snappy retorts and quotes that will help you maintain both your relationship and boundary at work.
Sarcastic Quotes About the Office Know-it-all
You are guaranteed a master who knows everything at the office. However, you are sure to find sarcastic comebacks that will give them a sense to always avoid intimidating you.
1. I should get an award for how I have managed not to; punch you in the face every time I see you.
2. I would have better people skills if I worked with better people.
3. We acknowledge that there is no ‘I’ in the team, But there is definitely a ‘U’ in cunt.
4. You do not have to be crazy to work here. We will train you.
5. I think I have heard you say. ‘Blah, blah, blah, blah. Is that correct?
6. I wake up with a good attitude every day. Then idiots happen.
7. I can barely wait to take credit for your great ideas.
8. Congratulations on getting promoted to the job you are already doing.
9. I actively avoid office politics by hating everybody equally.
10. Everybody brings joy to this office. Some when they enter, some when they exit.
11. Did you know that knowing too much feeds pride yet pride comes before a fall?
12. What you think you know has in it more than what you need to learn.
13. The whole make of knowledge is love not what you know.
Humorous Takes on the Overly Competitive Colleague
Some of your colleagues are obviously competitive. All in all whether an encouraging or jealous competition, it just always gets on your nerves. Here is how you can counter them;
1. Is not it kind of silly to think that tearing someone else down builds you up?
2. Love means never having to say you are sorry.
3. Do not waste words on people who desire your silence.
4. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.
5. I learned to keep my eyes open and my mouth shut.
6. If only people put as much energy into helping people as they do into creating drama.
7. Every true genius is bound to be naive.
8. Anger precedes hate, while love vicariously hangs in the balance.
9. Every one of us is a minor tragedy. Most of us learn to cope.
10. There is a voice in my head that is only silenced by the scratching of my pen.
11. Competition is for prizes. Diligence is for promotions.
12. You can still make it through without hypocrisy. Competition is the mother of jealousy and transgression.
Tongue-in-Cheek Remarks About the Perpetual Latecomer
What of them that are always late for work? You may be so confused with their lives as well. Read on what you can share with them.
1. The early bird gets the worm that should have slept in.
2. Maybe if you take some light pills, you will be able to ride on it one day.
3. Early sleep and early wake should make you come to the office early.
4. You are now a celebrity at work only that you are famous for coming late.
5. It is too late to apologize, it is too late.
6. It is never too late, never too late to be happy.
7. If you see a bandwagon it is too late.
8. If you do something you are going to regret in the morning, sleep late.
9. Thanks for always coming late and leaving too early.
10. Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you?
11, If coming late is cheap, then coming early is expensive. And many people it seems, can’t afford to buy into it.
12. Watch your punctuality: you coming late will create the reality you will experience soon.
Snappy Retorts for the Office Micromanager
Your office micromanager won’t be spared by this article. Use this snappy retorts against them:
1. Micromanagement, not macromanagement.
2. Micromanage the process, not the people.
3. If you are going to micromanage yourself, all you are going to do is make yourself miserable.
4. If it tastes funny, don’t eat it. If it looks funny, call a doctor. If it is funny, it must have been something I said.
5. I’ve been feeling like you don’t trust me to meet your expectations and I want to reduce your stress. Is there a way we can work together to increase your trust in me?
6. When you watch me do calculations for our performance report each week, I feel like I’m being micromanaged and that you don’t have confidence in my abilities.
7. I contacted the client to inform them of the recent changes to our workflow so they can update their expectations. Is there anything else you want me to communicate?
8. I noticed you’ve been taking a much more active role in my workflow recently. Has something changed?
9. I hope you can trust me to take care of this task on my own and meet with you afterward so we can discuss your feedback. Does that work for you?
10. Thank you for trusting me with this task. I promise that I’ll do an excellent job and achieve the results you desire.
11. The regularity of our interactions is really affecting my ability to be productive and meet your expectations. If you give me some space, I think I can produce better results.
12. I realize that my analysis is only one piece of the full report we’re producing for our proposal. I understand how it affects the entire workflow of this project, though, and plan to get it to you on time so we can move forward.
Irony-Filled Quotes About the Constantly Distracted Co-worker
Concentration at work is key and here are serious compliments for distractors:
1. Either you run the day or the day runs you.
2. Let us set time aside for trashing co-workers.
3. Having a nasty co-worker deserves you to be smiling.
4. Dump people try to impress others. Do not do what you have to do around them.
5. I just got my co-worker a get better card. They are not sick, I just know they can do better soon.
6. I feel small but so are stars from a distance.
7. Co-workers be like why are you tired; ‘cause am working!’
8. You should not react to a distracted co-worker, just respond.
9. Do not tell them anything that scares them any day.
10. It is not about who stays real to your face; what about who stays real behind your back?
11. Once bitten should always be twice shy; what of you?
Sarcastic One-Liners for the Office Drama Queen/King
Drama queens and kings always deserve one punch line; remember you still need an encouraging atmosphere for work.
1. If you get drama to the table; do not be surprised as everyone leaves the table.
2. You are not a happy queen; You are a laughing queen.
3. It is always as happy as a king, but yours is different.
4. You are enough to drive a saint to madness or a king to his knees.
5. Yesterday we obeyed you drama king/queen and bent our necks before emperors. But today we kneel only to truth, follow only beauty, and obey only love.
6. He broke her heart when she was young. But, when he offered her to make a crown.
7. The majority of us don’t like drama kings or queens. I decided to let them know that.
8. I’m gonna make a drama out of myself to run away from you.
9. Difficulty is inevitable; drama is a choice.
10. Being fueled by drama won’t make me attend your performance.
Conclusion
In conclusion, work is very important to be protected plus your colleagues play a vital role around you. The quotes mentioned above are the best way to use solutions.
If you find you sounded too harsh at them previously; you can get them a gift to reunite. A personalized puzzle friend name necklace is one of a kind gift. You can engrave on it a name with style. A perfect gift for your best friend at work.
Also, a customized exquisite name dog bone necklace is also a sample gift, especially for pet lovers. You can engrave in the small and cute dog bones names, dog footprints, and birthstones.
