Thanksgiving is a time for family, friends, and food. But it can also be a little bit stressful. If you’re looking for a way to lighten the mood, why not check out some funny Thanksgiving quotes? We’ve gathered some of our favorite quotes that will have you laughing all the way to the dinner table!
Funny Thanksgiving Quotes for a Smile
“Thanksgiving was nothing more than a pilgrim-created obstacle in the way of Christmas; a dead bird in the street that forced a brief detour.” – Augusten Burroughs.
“The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear.” – Buddy the Elf.
“My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” – Phyllis Diller.
“Give us a day, and we’ll give you a turkey.” – Lewis Black.
“I am thankful for what I am and have. My Thanksgiving is perpetual.” – Henry David Thoreau
“I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” – Jon Stewart
“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion or ethnic background, is that we all believe that we are above average drivers.” – Dave Barry.
“I’m an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house.” – Zsa Zsa Gabor.
“I have never been a material girl. My father always told me never to love anything that cannot love you back.” – Oprah Winfrey.
“I’m so old; I remember when taking a bubble bath was supposed to be romantic.” – Rod Stewart.
“My therapist says I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.” – Ally McBeal.
“I’m not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain.” – Carrie Underwood
“I’m dieting. I’m not allowed to have anything good.” – Phyllis Diller.
“I’m not going to vacuum ’til Sears makes one you can ride on.” – Roseanne Barr.
Funny Happy Thanksgiving Quotes and Sayings
Stuffing our faces is one thing we’re all thankful for on Thanksgiving.
Let’s take a moment to be thankful… for naps this Thanksgiving!
I’m thankful that this Thanksgiving, I can still fit into my clothes from last Thanksgiving.
This Thanksgiving, make sure you avoid all the drama and eat lots of turkey instead.
I’m thankful for the friends and family who make me laugh… even when I don’t want to.
On Thanksgiving, we stuff our bellies so full that we can barely move. And then we take a nap.
I’m thankful for leftovers because that means I don’t have to cook for a week.
This Thanksgiving, let’s remember to be thankful for the things that really matter…
Funny, Happy Thanksgiving Wishes
Enjoy these funny Thanksgiving wishes and share them with your favorite people.
Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving filled with all your favorite things.
I hope your Thanksgiving is as wonderful as you are.
May your Thanksgiving feast be as bountiful as your heart is whole.
This Thanksgiving, I wish you a belly full of laughter and a heart full of love.
Wishing you a Thanksgiving that’s as warm and wonderful as you are.
May your Thanksgiving dinner be as delicious as you are.
I hope your Thanksgiving is filled with everything that makes you happy.
Funny Thanksgiving Messages
May the turkey leg be yours this Thanksgiving!
I hope your Thanksgiving is stuffed full of love and laughter.
May your stuffing be as fluffy as your sense of humor.
Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving that’s as wonderful as you are.
I hope your Thanksgiving is as fabulous as you are.
May your Thanksgiving be as warm and wonderful as you are.
I hope your turkey is as plump as you are this Thanksgiving.
I hope your Thanksgiving is as wonderful as you are.
May you eat as much turkey as you want this Thanksgiving.
Wishing you a Happy Thanksgiving that’s filled with all your favorite things.
Funny Thanksgiving Sayings
We may not have it all together, but together, we have it all.
A family that prays together stays together.
Home is where the heart is.
Families are like fudge – mostly sweet with a few nuts.
Our family is a circle of strength and love. With every birth and union it grows.
Your family is the best team you could ever hope for.
A family is a little world created by love.
Family: Where life begins and love never ends.
A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another.
No family is perfect… we argue, and we fight. But in the end, we always love each other.
A family is a gift that lasts a lifetime.
Funny Turkey Quotes and Sayings
“The best way to avoid having turkey for Thanksgiving is to eat chicken.” – George Carlin
“I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.” – Mae West.
“I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.” – W.C. Fields.
“Turkey is a food invented for buffets and hangovers.” – John Powers.
“Your turkey will be perfect if you can keep the family from nibbling at it for two days.” – James Beard.
“The tasty turkey has become our nation’s scapegoat.” – Leonard S. Marcus.
“Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” – Johnny Carson
Funny Happy Turkey Day Sayings
Turkey Day is the moist, wonderful time of the year.
I’m so excited about Turkey Day; I can’t wait to stuff my face!
Turkey Day is the best day of the year to stuff your face and take a nap.
I love Turkey Day because it’s a day to give thanks for all the beautiful things in life… like naps.
Turkey Day is a day to be thankful for everything we take for granted, like food and nap time.
Happy Turkey Day! I hope your day is as wonderful as you are.
Funny Thanksgiving Family Quotes
“My family is my life, and everything else comes second as far as what’s important to me.” – Michael Imperioli.
“Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox.
“My family is my strength and my weakness.” – Aishwarya Rai Bachchan.
“I think the family is where the most ridiculous and least respectable things in the world go on.” – Ugo Betti.
“Home is where, when you have to go there; they have to take you in.” – Robert Frost.
“There’s no place like home for the holidays.” – Perry Como.
“Home is people. Not a place. If you go back there after the people are gone, then all you can see is what is not there anymore.” – Maya Angelou.
Conclusion
The holidays are a time for family, friends, and loved ones. They’re a time to come together and celebrate all we’re thankful for. And while Thanksgiving is a time to enjoy a delicious meal, it’s also a time to share some laughs with the people we care about most.
So whether you’re looking for a funny Thanksgiving quote to share with your loved ones or just want a chuckle, these sayings are sure to do the trick. From jokes about turkey to funny Thanksgiving family quotes, there’s something for everyone. Enjoy a little laughter this Thanksgiving.
