Single people are often made fun of by the dating group, but sometimes they are also admired by the same lot. The single life looks great. Freedom to hang out with whomever you want, go anywhere and everywhere at any time without having to consider someone you love romantically. It’s a hoot.
However, this is not always the case. The specific times when being single strikes you as being horrible, such as Valentine’s Day, really changes your outlook.
In this article, we will show you some funny quotes that highlight the good and lighten up the bad side of being single.
The Perks of Being Single: Hilarious One-Liners
All the parties your cuffed friends couldn’t attend, commitments, and other unlikeable aspects of being with someone are just some of the reasons you should feel comfortable being single. We will show you some hilarious and mouth-shutting one-liners to say to your cuffed friends.
- Always had a problem being alone, but not as much as having to answer to someone in my age group.
- I can most definitely keep my hands to myself because I’m adorable.
- I’m okay having my mom as my emergency contact until the end of time.
- Married people willingly put themselves in jail till death. But good for them, at least they still get to keep the key.
- I would simply love to get married but restrictions drive me crazy. Rather join the army and paid for following instructions than get married and follow them for free.
- I’d rather give the love I’m loving someone else with to myself. Why would I now have to split things when I can turn it up and give it all to me?
- The only other thing I hated more than instructions and restrictions is the person giving them. Whenever it gets like that, my fight-or-flight response is activated.
- I would much rather take myself out for dinner and spare myself the awkwardness of who’s supposed to pay. Plus my inner thoughts would be a much better conversation than with a date because in many occasions my thoughts have cracked me up.
Love is in the Air… But Not for These Singles
As we praise the upsides of being single, the downsides bring in some rather ugly emotions. The quotes we’ll show you will brighten up your view of this yin side of the single life.
- Love is in the air…someone gets the insecticide and has everyone evacuate the room.
- Being single is not being lonely. It is just letting yourself have all the fish in the sea instead of just one.
- It’s all in the name. Being cuffed translates to being arrested.
- Staying with one person for the rest of my life no matter the situation sounds just like a death sentence.
- I’d rather walk on my own than have to start putting my mom’s feelings at risk by doing stunts like the “sidewalk rule”.
- Why should anyone make me mad, and sad, but happy sometimes when I can do all that mood-swinging effortlessly all on my own?
- I would rather have something of meaning break my heart, such as losing a dollar, instead of being left by a human being.
- I like to see my time being single as a molding process. You can laugh at me now, but you won’t be laughing when you see me on the interviewing panel when you’re the interviewee at my company.
- When Cupid starts shooting arrows we should all duck and try to take that flying baby down before it ruins all our lives. However, some would much prefer an arrow wound.
Why Settle Down When You Can Stay Single? Laughable Quotes
All the work that comes with settling down is simply repulsive, especially to someone who loves their space and freedom. Why would someone willingly leave their stress-free life to be in a restricting space? In the quotes below, we make fun of this aspect of dating and more.
- The presence of a contract anywhere is enough for me to raise my eyebrows. Why have lawyers involved in our love?
- Why have a knight in shining armor when you can simply wear your power outfit and feel like a brave knight?
- I don’t need to have another set of parents and siblings. That is absolutely creepy.
- Settling down is nice until you start to have petty arguments and have your day ruined.
- When you love someone, you do everything for them to be happy. That is exactly why I’ve been in a happy and stable relationship with myself since the day I was born.
- Settling down is boring. Let me have some fun first before I say goodbye to this chapter…if that ever happens.
- Each time I decide to settle down, the universe just sends me reasons from everywhere not to. And who am I to argue with the universe?
- Even Jesus himself didn’t settle down because he had a job to do. So for that reason, I will emulate him and stay focused because I have a job to do.
Embracing the Solo Life: Comical Quotes About Being Single
Being single requires some embracing. With the way many people are pursuing a partner, that pressure may pile on you. But you shouldn’t feel it because others have it, it should come from you. In the quotes below, we will crack you up while giving you reasons to embrace being single.
- So far being single has given me so much more than I thought it took from me. It’s like an investment.
- This just means that I have time to pursue my dreams without thinking about anyone I’m in a relationship with. Selfishness always works out great.
- The reason why I’m comfortable being single is because the only person who knows me well and cares just for me without making me mad from time to time is me.
- I am my own lover. In addition to that I am my own butler, chauffeur, and ATM. It’s not a lot because I’m not bothering anyone, and no one is bothering me.
- I’m the luckiest person in the world because every day I get to hang out with the other luckiest person in the world. That guy is me.
- Oh the joy of having your heart roam free to love and crush on people from a distance then end it immediately.
- Many great modern and ancient world leaders failed too because of a love scandal. This just removes the key factor that could disqualify me from having an empire.
- After experiencing a taste of being single, I am prepared to maximize this time of my life to complete my twenty-five bucket lists.
Don’t Need No Man (or Woman): Funny Quotes Celebrating Independence
You will feel very glamorous once you realize and embrace the upside of being single is independence. The feminine side thrives once it is left to guide and instruct itself, so being single is really a break to unleash the lioness in you. We will show you some hilarious quotes that celebrate this independence.
- Cheers to freedom to dance with anyone at the club and go anywhere you want at any time.
- Loving someone is all fun and games until you start sleeping at nine pm and missing girls’ nights and parties.
- Romance is a scam. You don’t need to love a human being romantically for you to go about the rest of your life smoothly. Dogs are better than humans.
- Cheers to putting off men who smile at you from across the bar not just because you have a man, but also because you can have the man smiling from the other corner of the bar.
- Wearing lingerie and make-up just to look at yourself in the mirror is so great.
- With great power comes great responsibility. With being single for a long time comes great power.
- Don’t ask me why I’m so wise when you’ve seen how people who aren’t involved reason rationally.
- I’ve just realized how much freedom and time I have in my hands right now. The motivation to take over the world is now here.
Conclusion
Companionship is a human need, but being in a romantic relationship is not. It’s normal for you to feel bad and even lonely while single, but even when feeling this urge, don’t pressure yourself too much. As long as you have other great friends and family, you’re good in the companionship sector. A relationship requires you to have embraced being alone at some point so that you will also learn to take care of yourself as to take care of your spouse.
The other upside of being single is that you give yourself all the gifts because at this point you are your own lover. This engraved infinity symbol cord bracelet is a great gift to start with. It has a sterling silver infinity pendant that can be engraved with your name in different fonts. This bracelet will remind you to love yourself forever. This is not only because of the symbolism brought about by having your name on the infinity-shaped pendant but also the fact that you had it made just for you.
This personalized name heart necklace with birthstone is also a wonderful piece of jewelry. You should totally check it out. It is a sterling silver necklace colored gold and has a heart-shaped pendant. Your birthstone and name are fixed on the pendant, symbolizing that you love yourself. All the efforts in personalizing it just for you will make it an even more special keepsake.
