Halloween is a time for spooks, scares, and plenty of laughs. If you’re looking for a few good Halloween jokes to get you into the spirit of things, you’ve come to the right place!
This blog post has compiled some of the funniest Halloween jokes around. We’ve got you covered whether you’re looking for something spooky or just downright goofy. So put on your best costume and enjoy these hilarious Halloween jokes!
Funny Halloween Jokes For Kids
- Q: What do ghosts serve for dessert?
A: I Scream!
- Q: Why did the skeleton go to the party?
A: To get to the bone!
- Q: Where do ghosts go on vacation?
A: Mali-boo!
- Q: What kind of car does a ghost drive?
A: A Boo-gie!
- Q: How do ghosts like their eggs?
A: Scared!
- Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A: A boogieman-wich!
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit?
A: Boo-berries!
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite day of the week?
A: Frightday!
- Q: What does a ghost say when he’s hungry?
A: I want a boooooooger!
- Q: What did the mother ghost say to her son?
A: Don’t spook until you are spooken to!
- Q: How do ghosts call their friends?
A: On a ghoul-line!
- Q: What does a ghost use to brush his teeth?
A: A ghoul-dent!
- Q: Where do ghosts go shopping?
A: At the boo-tique!
- Q: Why are ghosts, such bad liars?
A: Because they are easy to see through!
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite color?
A: boo!
- Q: What does a vampire say when he’s hungry?
A: I vant to eat!
- Q: What does a vampire say when he’s full?
A: That’s a wrap!
- Q: How do vampires stay up all night?
A: By drinking lots of coffiiiiiin!
- Q: What do ghosts use to fix their hair?
A: Ghoul- grease!
- Q: How do you catch a vampire?
A: Tie him to a bed and wait for the sun to come up!
- Q: How do you keep a vampire from attacking you?
A: Show him a mirror!
- Q: What do you call a vampire who works in a bank?
A: A blood banker!
- Q: How do you know if a vampire has been in your house?
A: The garbage is gone, and the dog has a bite out!
- Q: What do you call a vampire in a box?
A: A coffin!
- Q: How do vampires get around on Halloween?
A: On a blood vessel!
- Q: Why don’t vampires like garlic bread?
A: Because it gets in the way of their fangs!
- Q: What is a vampire’s favorite type of food?
A: Neck-tarine!
- Q: What is a vampire’s least favorite type of food?
A: Stake!
- Q: Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
A: Because he wanted to get his fangs straightened!
- Q: How do vampires get to school?
A: By coffin!
- Q: How do vampires go on vacation?
A: They fly!
- Q: How do vampires stay cool in the summer?
A: By ice-ing themselves!
- Q: What do you call a vampire who doesn’t drink blood?
A: A veggie-tarien!
- Q: What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A: Steak!
- Q: What do you call a vampire with no teeth?
A: A gummy-bear!
- Q: Why did the vampire go to the doctor?
A: Because he was feeling a little run down!
- Q: What do you call a vampire with no fangs?
A: A tooth-less wonder!
- Q: How do vampires start a car?
A: By coffin!
- Q: What do you call a vampire with no arms?
A: A hugger!
- Q: How do vampires brush their teeth?
A: With a blood toothbrush!
- Q: What do you call a vampire with no legs?
A: A crawler!
- Q: What do you call a vampire with no heart?
A: Cold-blooded!
Exciting Halloween Dad Jokes
- Q: Why did the skeleton go to the party?
A: To get to the bone!
- Q: Why do skeletons always race each other?
A: Because they are afraid of being left behind!
- Q: Why did the skeleton cross the road?
A: To get to the other side!
- Q: Why did the skeleton go to the movies?
A: To see the bone collector!
- Q: What do skeletons say when something is hilarious?
A: That tickled my funny bone!
- Q: What do skeletons say when they are bored?
A: Life is just one giant graveyard.
- Q: Why did the skeleton go to the bar?
A: To get a few drinks!
- Q: Why did the skeleton go to the doctor?
A: He was feeling little bones tired!
- Q: How does a skeleton know what time it is?
A: He uses an hourglass!
- Q: How does a skeleton make his coffee?
A: With bone marrow!
- Q: How did the witch know the skeleton was telling her a lie?
A: She could see right through him!
- Q: What do skeletons say before they begin eating?
A: Bone appetite!
- Q: How does a skeleton answer the phone?
A: “Hello, this is Mr Bones.”
- Q: What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
A: Spare ribs!
- Q: What does a skeleton say when he’s on the beach?
A: I’m bone to be wild!
- Q: What does a skeleton say when riding a roller coaster?
A: This is the thrill of my life!
- Q: What does a skeleton say when he’s surfing?
A: Bone shaka!
- Q: Why do witches ride brooms?
A: Because they are too lazy to walk!
- Q: Why did the witch go to the store?
A: To get her ingredients for a spell!
- Q: Why did the witch cross the road?
A: To get to the other side!
- Q: Why did the witch go to the party?
A: To get a few drinks!
- Q: Why did the witch go to the doctor?
A: She was feeling a little run down!
- Q: How does a witch know what time it is?
A: She uses an hourglass!
- Q: How does a witch make her coffee?
A: With an eye of a newt!
- Q: Which witch is which?
A: The one with the pointy hat!
- Q: How do you catch a witch?
A: Tie her to a post and wait for a flying monkey to land on her!
- Q: How do you kill a witch?
A: Use a silver bullet!
- Q: How do witches stay cool in the summer?
A: They ice themselves!
- Q: What do witches use to keep their hair in place?
A: Scare-ex!
- Q: What does a witch put in her hair?
A: A bone pin!
- Q: What is a witch’s favorite type of cheese?
A: Muenster!
- Q: What is a witch’s favorite type of cake?
A: Choco-late!
- Q: What does a witch say when she’s making a potion?
A: Add a little bit of this and a little bit of that!
- Q: What does a witch say when she’s stirring her potion?
A: Stir, stir, stir!
- Q: What does a witch say when she’s finished stirring her potion?
A: That’ll do; add the frog eyes now!
- Q: What does a witch say when she’s casting a spell?
A: Abracadabra!
- Q: What does a witch say when she’s riding her broom?
A: Swish, swish, swish!
- Q: The bat flew into my house; what should I do?
A: Let him out; keeping him cooped up is not fair!
- Q: What do you call a bat that can’t fly?
A: A flop!
- Q: What do you call a bat that is blind?
A: A sightless wonder!
- Q: What do you call a bat that is afraid of heights?
A: A scaredy-bat!
- Q: How do you catch a bat?
A: Hang a piece of fruit on a tree and wait for him to take a bite!
- Q: How do you kill a bat?
A: Use a batarang!
- Q: What do bats eat for lunch?
A: Insect sandwiches!
Spooky Pumpkin Puns To Get You In The Halloween Spirit
Puns are a fun way to get into the Halloween spirit. Here are some exciting pumpkin puns that will make you laugh and help you get into the Halloween mood.
- Q: What do you call a pumpkin that’s been in the sun too long?
A: A raisin!
- Q: What do you call a pumpkin in the freezer?
A: A frozen asset!
- Q: What do you call a pumpkin that’s been in the oven too long?
A: A roasted pumpkin!
- Q: What do you call a pumpkin in the fridge too long?
A: A moldy pumpkin!
- Q: What do you call a pumpkin that’s been in the microwave too long?
A: A exploded pumpkin!
- Q: Pumpkin spice and everything excellent. What do you get?
A: A delicious pie!
- Q: How do you fix a broken pumpkin?
A: With a pumpkin patch!
- Q: How do you make a pumpkin float?
A: With two scoops of ice cream and a pumpkin on top!
- Q: How do you make a pumpkin spice latte?
A: With coffee, milk, pumpkin spice, and sugar!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of music?
A: Hip-hop!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of movie?
A: Horror movies!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of food?
A: Pumpkin seeds!
- Q: What’s a pumpkin’s favorite type of drink?
A: Orange juice!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a vampire?
A: A pumpkin, that sucks!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a werewolf?
A: A hairy pumpkin!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a ghost?
A: A boo-tiful pumpkin!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with a witch?
A: A scary pumpkin!
- Q: What do you get when you cross a pumpkin with Frankenstein?
A: A monster pumpkin!
Conclusion
Jokes and puns are a fun way to get into the Halloween spirit. Whether you’re carving pumpkins, decorating your home, or just enjoying the autumn weather, these jokes will help you get into the Halloween mood. So have fun and enjoy the holiday!
